Post by Woo on Nov 3, 2007 23:18:45 GMT -1
Okay I thought I would sort of do a weekly top 10 list thing, kind of like IGN do and thought I'd start off by listing the top 10 characters in games that get on my nerves.
10. The Fortune Telling Frog- Gregory Horror Show
Now most off you have probably never even heard of Gregory Horror Show. Those who have played it will know that despite looking like something on Cartoon Network it's bloody scary as hell when you are being chased in this crazy hotel by a strange lizard with a giant syringe, who is literally out for you blood, only to bump into a manic chef with a giant meat clever who also wants to kill you. You will try to run into the Frog's room to hide only for him to say "Don't get me involved" and lock the door leaving you like "yeah....thanks for that" as the syringe gets stabbed into your head.
9. Robofish- Timesplitters 1-3
Robofish is the ultimate cheat character. He is small (so hard to hit) fast (so he can easily run way/chase after you) and is a robot (so he isn't harmed by fire based weapons). To make matters worse his head is a fish, yes a tiny yellow fish in a bowl which makes headshots almost impossible. The reason he is here though is that my brother used to use him all the time.
8. Your team mates in Socom.
I bought Socom for the cool headset, which I thought was a great idea and to be fair it works very well….in Manhunt…but in Socom I couldn’t get to grips with it. Well I could but the people on your squad are morons! “Alpha move to Foxtrot.” “I do not understand sir.” “Alpha move to Foxtrot” “what?” “move to Foxtrot” “huh?” “For the love of god, I’m going to fire you in a bit” “Fire at will, understood” *Game gets switched off*
7. Tidus- Final Fantasy X
He’s just totally hateable. Whiny, bad dress sense, looks like a girl. He is also the typical Sqauresoft main character, only without Cloud’s cool personality or Squall’s gun blade or Zidane’s um….tail? Why do all the main characters in FF have to be blonde lady-boys with the exact same hairstyle? FF XII’s Vaan very nearly made this list, but Tidus just edged him out.
6. Larry- Leisure Suit Larry
Larry stars in game after game in which he tries to sleep with girl after girl. Oh the hilarity… He’s dumb, immature, unfunny and has the most punchable face this side of Randy Orton.
5. Raiden- Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 2 had many, many faults such as the Big Shell being the most boring place ever to set a game in, but for many the biggest problem was Raiden. After playing as the amazing Snake in the excellent tanker level you then have to play as this whiny Tidus-like androgynous pansy. Even the President in the game thinks he is a female. Seriously I wouldn’t have minded not playing as Snake as long as I was someone else such as Ocelot, Otagon, Olga, Vamp, Fortune, even Peter Stillman would have been an improvement over him. Despite all this he is only the second worst character in the game…
4. Jinpachi Mishima- Tekken 5
I am a HUGE Tekken fan, but even I know that they made a huge mistake with Jinpachi. He is the worst person ever in a Tekken game and remember this is a series where the fighters have included a cartoon dragon, a boxing kangaroo and a doctor who couldn’t even stand up. Why is he so bad then? Well he has one move that takes away 90% of your health bar and it’s almost impossible to avoid thanks to the fact he can paralyze you. What a cheating bastard.
3. Iwazaru- Killer 7
Just look at him. Why is this guy giving me advice? Why is he speaking like the possessed offspring of R2-D2 and Walt from Lost (during the time he used to randomly appear to Shannon and mutter useless stuff backwards)? And why the fuck should I listen to this gimp anyway? This guy was the sole reason I gave up on Killer7 and I gave up very quickly. Shame, it looks so good.
2. Colonel Irving Lambert- Splinter Cell
I HATE this guy! Another person who just ruins a game for me, well actually the entire Splinter Cell series with his constant moaning. “Fisher, keep quiet!” “Damn it Fisher you’ve ruined the mission” “Fisher, this is a stealth mission you idiot so stop using your machinegun! Yes, I know I gave you that gun in the first place, but don’t use it!” “No Fisher, you were supposed to protect that guy!” “He’s dead again Fisher!” “No Fisher, you just shot him in the face!” “No you can not take your earpiece out of your ear to avoid hearing what I sa…...” Apparently in Splinter Cell Double Agent you either have to kill him or risk blowing your cover. It’s meant to be a real tough moral question. I’d shoot him instantly.
1. Rose- Metal Gear Solid 2
There are many, many bad characters in MGS2, Raiden, Emma and Fatman was just idiotic. However Rose outdoes them all by being the useless person ever and a waste of perfectly good polygons. Here’s the worst offending scene: You are fighting Fortune in the Big Shell while you hide behind some crates. You try to shoot but every bullet deflects away from Fortune. So you then hide back behind the crates only for her to blast a hole through them. It’s tense stuff and for the first time since Raiden took off his mask you are very excited then Rose calls… “Jack do you know what day it is today? No? Oh…don’t worry it’s an important day in out relationship, but never mind…” “Look I’m busy you dumb clingy bitch!” Then it’s revealed that she might not actually be Rose and might be AI, or an alien, or a hologram, or a giant cockroach inside a human body or it could have been Rose all along. It doesn’t matter what she is, by the end of the game it becomes clear that above all else she is- very, very annoying. Her and Raiden- what a couple. I feel sorry for their neighbours.
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So do you agree with any of my choices or do you think it's criminal that Tidus is on the list? What characters in games can you not stand?
10. The Fortune Telling Frog- Gregory Horror Show
Now most off you have probably never even heard of Gregory Horror Show. Those who have played it will know that despite looking like something on Cartoon Network it's bloody scary as hell when you are being chased in this crazy hotel by a strange lizard with a giant syringe, who is literally out for you blood, only to bump into a manic chef with a giant meat clever who also wants to kill you. You will try to run into the Frog's room to hide only for him to say "Don't get me involved" and lock the door leaving you like "yeah....thanks for that" as the syringe gets stabbed into your head.
9. Robofish- Timesplitters 1-3
Robofish is the ultimate cheat character. He is small (so hard to hit) fast (so he can easily run way/chase after you) and is a robot (so he isn't harmed by fire based weapons). To make matters worse his head is a fish, yes a tiny yellow fish in a bowl which makes headshots almost impossible. The reason he is here though is that my brother used to use him all the time.
8. Your team mates in Socom.
I bought Socom for the cool headset, which I thought was a great idea and to be fair it works very well….in Manhunt…but in Socom I couldn’t get to grips with it. Well I could but the people on your squad are morons! “Alpha move to Foxtrot.” “I do not understand sir.” “Alpha move to Foxtrot” “what?” “move to Foxtrot” “huh?” “For the love of god, I’m going to fire you in a bit” “Fire at will, understood” *Game gets switched off*
7. Tidus- Final Fantasy X
He’s just totally hateable. Whiny, bad dress sense, looks like a girl. He is also the typical Sqauresoft main character, only without Cloud’s cool personality or Squall’s gun blade or Zidane’s um….tail? Why do all the main characters in FF have to be blonde lady-boys with the exact same hairstyle? FF XII’s Vaan very nearly made this list, but Tidus just edged him out.
6. Larry- Leisure Suit Larry
Larry stars in game after game in which he tries to sleep with girl after girl. Oh the hilarity… He’s dumb, immature, unfunny and has the most punchable face this side of Randy Orton.
5. Raiden- Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 2 had many, many faults such as the Big Shell being the most boring place ever to set a game in, but for many the biggest problem was Raiden. After playing as the amazing Snake in the excellent tanker level you then have to play as this whiny Tidus-like androgynous pansy. Even the President in the game thinks he is a female. Seriously I wouldn’t have minded not playing as Snake as long as I was someone else such as Ocelot, Otagon, Olga, Vamp, Fortune, even Peter Stillman would have been an improvement over him. Despite all this he is only the second worst character in the game…
4. Jinpachi Mishima- Tekken 5
I am a HUGE Tekken fan, but even I know that they made a huge mistake with Jinpachi. He is the worst person ever in a Tekken game and remember this is a series where the fighters have included a cartoon dragon, a boxing kangaroo and a doctor who couldn’t even stand up. Why is he so bad then? Well he has one move that takes away 90% of your health bar and it’s almost impossible to avoid thanks to the fact he can paralyze you. What a cheating bastard.
3. Iwazaru- Killer 7
Just look at him. Why is this guy giving me advice? Why is he speaking like the possessed offspring of R2-D2 and Walt from Lost (during the time he used to randomly appear to Shannon and mutter useless stuff backwards)? And why the fuck should I listen to this gimp anyway? This guy was the sole reason I gave up on Killer7 and I gave up very quickly. Shame, it looks so good.
2. Colonel Irving Lambert- Splinter Cell
I HATE this guy! Another person who just ruins a game for me, well actually the entire Splinter Cell series with his constant moaning. “Fisher, keep quiet!” “Damn it Fisher you’ve ruined the mission” “Fisher, this is a stealth mission you idiot so stop using your machinegun! Yes, I know I gave you that gun in the first place, but don’t use it!” “No Fisher, you were supposed to protect that guy!” “He’s dead again Fisher!” “No Fisher, you just shot him in the face!” “No you can not take your earpiece out of your ear to avoid hearing what I sa…...” Apparently in Splinter Cell Double Agent you either have to kill him or risk blowing your cover. It’s meant to be a real tough moral question. I’d shoot him instantly.
1. Rose- Metal Gear Solid 2
There are many, many bad characters in MGS2, Raiden, Emma and Fatman was just idiotic. However Rose outdoes them all by being the useless person ever and a waste of perfectly good polygons. Here’s the worst offending scene: You are fighting Fortune in the Big Shell while you hide behind some crates. You try to shoot but every bullet deflects away from Fortune. So you then hide back behind the crates only for her to blast a hole through them. It’s tense stuff and for the first time since Raiden took off his mask you are very excited then Rose calls… “Jack do you know what day it is today? No? Oh…don’t worry it’s an important day in out relationship, but never mind…” “Look I’m busy you dumb clingy bitch!” Then it’s revealed that she might not actually be Rose and might be AI, or an alien, or a hologram, or a giant cockroach inside a human body or it could have been Rose all along. It doesn’t matter what she is, by the end of the game it becomes clear that above all else she is- very, very annoying. Her and Raiden- what a couple. I feel sorry for their neighbours.
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So do you agree with any of my choices or do you think it's criminal that Tidus is on the list? What characters in games can you not stand?
