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Post by MetalBlade on Mar 13, 2010 0:52:27 GMT -1
Police are hunting a serial killer who has so far stabbed to death six people with a knitting needle.
He appears to be following some sort of pattern.
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Post by Kevin Borg on Mar 13, 2010 2:10:35 GMT -1
women's rights.
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Post by The Deranged Dr. Kittenfingers on Apr 8, 2010 2:00:39 GMT -1
What do you call a mushroom who walks into a bar and buys everyone drinks?
A Fungi!
Science rules!
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Post by MetalBlade on Apr 8, 2010 5:57:05 GMT -1
Lol.
What did that same Fungi say when the bar then filled up with freeloaders all taking advantage of his generosity?
"Man, there's not mushroom in here."
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Post by EZD on Apr 8, 2010 14:45:53 GMT -1
A man walks into a bar. He's an alcohol and it's destroying his family.
Wait... wrong board. Sorry.
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Post by Kevin Borg on Apr 8, 2010 16:27:00 GMT -1
Three pieces of string walk into a shop. The shopkeep says "So, no strings allowed". So the three pieces of string leave the store, tie themselves together and walk back in. The shopkeep asks "Are you just three pieces of string tied together?"
They respond, "Sorry, I'm afraid not."
(Get it? A Frayed Knot!)
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Post by MetalBlade on Apr 8, 2010 20:55:08 GMT -1
Found a way to stop my wife sucking her thumb.
I drew a cock on it.
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Post by EZD on Apr 9, 2010 0:57:46 GMT -1
Q: What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
A: Putting her back in the wheelchair.
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Post by MetalBlade on Apr 9, 2010 8:38:28 GMT -1
Q. Why don't Australians eat Quiche?
A. They can't pronounce it.
Prove me wrong, Steve.
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Post by MetalBlade on Apr 22, 2010 12:55:00 GMT -1
Well that went down like a lead balloon...
Anyway, I recently joined an online dating agency and was asked to describe my ideal woman, so I put - "I love page 3 girls, they're so sexy." It was only when I was arrested, and my laptop seized, that I realised my P button was broke.
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Post by Hellion on Apr 23, 2010 4:27:50 GMT -1
Q. Why don't Australians eat Quiche? A. They can't pronounce it. Prove me wrong, Steve. ... I love quiche.  |
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Post by MetalBlade on May 18, 2010 22:23:09 GMT -1
Lol.
You can type it, but can you say it?
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
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Post by Hellion on May 21, 2010 5:02:12 GMT -1
Quik... Quick-she... Quickee!!
Keesh. Jesus.
Policeman pulls over a limosine which is flying down the highway. Flat out. Pushing two hundred km/h easily. Gets out of the car and gets the driver to wind down his window, only to realize that it's the pope. He's flabbergasted.
"Just give me a second" he says to the pope.
He goes back to his car and calls his sergeant.
"What is it?"
"Well I've just pulled over this limo Sarge. It was clocked doing nearly 200 down the freeway"
"Top work Daniels, you're a credit to the force. Book the bastard!"
"Well, it's not that simple, Sarge."
"Whatd'ya mean it's not that simple?"
"Well... he's.... y'know, he's pretty important!"
"I don't give a fuck how important he is. Book him!"
"No, sir, you don't get it. He's real fucking important."
"Well how important can he be? What is he, the president of the USA?"
"Even more important than that, Sarge"
"... what? Who the hell is it?"
"Well... I don't know how to say this sir... but I... I think it's God."
"Daniels, what the fuck? God? Why the hell do you think it's God?"
"Well... Sarge. The pope's his chaffeur."
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Post by MetalBlade on Jun 7, 2010 19:00:14 GMT -1
Lol.
Stephen Hawking appears to have a chip on his shoulder.
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Post by MetalBlade on Jun 7, 2010 19:02:43 GMT -1
Stephen Hawking appears to have a chip on his shoulder. Damn stupid typo... ...I meant chin. |
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